Just Give Me A Reason
by Nicky Morello
Summary: Set after Season 3 finale. What happens when Nicky comes back from Max?
1. Just Give Me A Reason

**Author's Note** : Well...that was...interesting. Hmm...yeah, too much to say so we'll just leave it there lol. **WARNING- IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED SEASON THREE DO NOT READ THIS!** If you have, then carry on! Please read and review

Nicky Nichols lay on the hard metal bunk in maximum security. The light above her burned brightly as it had for the past two months. Her red hair, once wild and untameable, now stringy and plastered to her face like wallpaper. Her face, once so full and lifelike, now looked thin and frail. To say the food was edible in max was like saying the ghetto was the greatest place to live. Nicky had barely touched her meals in the last two months, the mould covering most of the small proportions of food she was given. Her wrists had marks on them from the shackles she had to wear whenever she was allowed out of her cell. The guards at max were all Pornstaches. They would feel women up at their own free will. If you dared say something they didn't like, they'd smack you with a brown leather belt. Nicky had had that painful privilege five times. Nicky groaned as she rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. In max you had a lot of time to think, and then over think. For two months Nicky had thought about what a fuck up she was, about how her entire life she had been nothing but a huge disappointment to everyone. As a kid she was never good enough for her mother, she always felt like a nuisance. Her mother would drag her around like a security blanket, and when it was appropriate she played the "mom of the year" card, showing Nicky off like she was a prize. For that split second, that one moment, Nicky would feel liked she really had a mom, like her mom really loved her. But, as quickly as it would start, it would end. Once the crowd backed away, Nicky was pushed to the side like a stuffed animal long forgotten. It was no suprise that the red headed beauty started rebelling when she became a teenager. She started sleeping with any girl that looked even slightly fuckable, hung out with the rough and rowdy crowd and did Heroin like it was her lifeline; and it was. Nicky closed her eyes as she felt a fresh batch of tears threaten to spill down her pale cheeks. She had once said at an AA meeting that Heroin was her best girlfriend because it never left, and that was the truth. When it seemed that everyone else in her life left her, when it seemed like no one cared about her, heroin did. When her friends had gone to jail, Nicky had begged her mom for money, for drugs of course and not to bail out her friends. The look on her mother's face, before she closed the car door, had been one of sadness, heartache and _disappointment_. After that things had gone from bad to worse for the then junkie. After her heart surgery, she had actually hoped maybe her mother would care. Hoped that by some miracle her mother would act like a mother instead of a publicity agent. That hope was quickly shattered when her mom walked into the hospital room. There was no real empathy or concern, just a pretend spew of concern to make herself feel better. After that things only got worse. Nicky did go back to the only thing that ever loved her, Heroin. When she'd gotten arrested and gone to Litchfield she had been scared. Yes, Nicky Nichols had been scared. Scared that being torn from her lover's addictive arms would kill her. Scared that detox would be like having a gun pointed at you, that wasn't loaded. If it hadn't been for Red, it would have been. Red, her prison mother and real mother in every sense of the word. The older woman had taken Nicky in like she was her own daughter. Had a firm hand whenever Nicky would get out of line. But had a heart of gold when Nicky needed it. There was one other person in prison that had never left her side, Lorna Morello. When she'd first seen the Brooklyn native with short dark hair and bright red lips, she'd thought she was a little bit crazy. Ok that was putting it nicely, but Nicky fell head over heels for her. When she found out Lorna had a fiancé she still tried to win her over, even if she hid behind the lie that it was only for comfort. Lorna made her feel like she mattered, made her feel like she was loved and wanted. And when the small black haired beauty screamed out her name in the chapel, made her feel desired. When heroin use to consume Nicky's mind completely, Lorna invaded her thoughts like a sweet sounding melody. After Lorna's fantasy marriage had been exposed for what it was, a fantasy, Nicky had stood by her, never once judging or questioning her sanity. She knew Morello was batshit crazy, but the red headed ex junkie loved her enough that she didn't care. She wanted to help Lorna, wanted to show her that someone loved her, that someone cared; because Nicky knew how painful it could be to think no one did. She knew she was a disappointment to both Lorna and Red now, the look in her mother's eyes that day had been just that. She remembered the fear in Lorena's voice, the frantic pleading in her tone. Nicky knew deep down that Lorna would never judge her, would never hate her no matter what she did, but she couldn't see that through the cloud of depression she was in. She knew Red was probably pissed. Nicky sighed as she rolled over. Suddenly she heard the door of her cell open.

"Inmate!" A guard barked at her, "Come on, you're going back to Litchfield."

Nicky looked up, "Really? Why?" She asked suprised, her voice raspy from crying.

"Just get up and come with me." The guard yelled.

Nicky slowly got up off the bed and, on wobbly legs, moved towards the door. As she was lead down the hallway she heard the other inmates screaming obscenities about how they should be released and not her. As she walked towards the exit of maximum security she passed a girl walking in wearing a orange jumpsuit. Her hair was cropped and she had tattoos covering the parts of her Nicky could see. The red head met the woman's eyes and saw nothing but anger looking back at her. Looking away the ex junkie continued out the doors and towards the transport van. Her body ached all over, her mind so fucked up even a drug couldn't fix it, and the sun hurt her eyes; but Nicky Nichols only had one thought on her mind, she was going to see the only person that ever cared about her, Lorna Morello. She knew it was a long road to recovery but with Lorna beside her, she could get through anything.

Meanwhile at Litchfield Federal Prison Lorna Morello looked up at the tall, Italian man standing in front of her.

"Do you, Lorna Morello, take Vince Muccio to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?" The minister asked.

"I do." Lorna smiled looking up into the man's eyes.

"And do you Vince Muccio take Lorna Morello to be your lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?" The minister asked

"I do." Vince smiled at Lorna.

"Then with the power invested in me and the state of New York I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The minister smiled as the couple kissed. As they consummated their marriage against a vending machine Lorna had no idea that a certain wild haired inmate was being lead back into the prison, and into her heart.

 **Author's Note** \- I am not impressed with this chapter to be honest. I originally thought that writing a chapter with almost no dialogue would be easy, it is not lol. That being said, I hope you enjoyed this. Chapter two won't be up until next weekend at the earliest. So thank you for reading and please review! Cry to me about season three if you want! Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note- I am SO sorry it took so long to update! I've been going through some shit but I've hopefully passed the brunt of it! THANK YOU to all of you that favorited, followed and reviewed! They mean the world to me and they are the reason I do what i without further ado here is Chapter 2! Enjoy!

As Nicky followed the group of new inmates down the halls of Lichfield Federal Prison she noticed how different everything seemed. Almost like someone had actually cleaned the prison from top to bottom. She let her mind wander as Maritza explained what and where everything was. As they passed visitation Nicky stopped, listening closely she heard what sounded like a dying cat, but the cutest dying cat Nicky had ever heard. Suddenly it hit her who was screaming, or moaning. Nicky's heart dropped as she made out the words "Consummate this marriage husband" being screamed from the room.

"What the hell?" Nicky wondered out loud.

Maritza turned to her, shooting her a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry Nichols."

"Who the fuck did she marry and don't say Christopher." Nicky questioned through gritted teeth.

Maritza sighed deeply, she really didn't want to be the one to tell her, "She married a guy named Vince. I'm sorry." She smiled weakly at Nicky before leading the other inmates down another corridor of the prison. Nicky just stood there for a long moment, her body felt completely numb. Her mind suddenly stopped and she could feel her heart beat quicken. The one person Nicky thought would be there for her, that would never give up on her, had. Nicky felt tears fill her eyes as she stood staring at the entrance to visitation. A couple minutes later Lorna Muccio walked out of the room and came face to face with a very stunned Nicky Nichols.

"Nicky?" Lorna gasped, staring at her in shock. The two former lovers stood staring at each other. Without thinking Lorna ran to Nicky and held onto her for dear life. Nicky continued to just stare at the visitation entrance, still too stunned to move.

"I'm so glad you're ok Nick." Lorna cried into her shoulder. Suddenly Nicky came out of her daze as she felt Morello's arms tighten around her neck

"You're married?" Nicky asked weakly, the question more like a statement.

Almost instantly Lorna pulled back and looked at her, "He's he's a really nice guy Nick." Lorna spoke softly trying to meet the redheads eyes. "He's what I've waited my whole life for."

Nicky scoffed, pulling away from Lorna, "Well I'm glad to know I wasn't enough for you."

"Nick-" Lorna started.

"Just don't Lorna." Nicky replied bitterly, storming off down the hall.

Walking towards the bunks Nicky felt her heart ache as she fought back the tears in her eyes. She wasn't sure what hurt more. The fact that the one person she thought would wait for her didn't or the fact that she had been right, no one loved her.

As the ex junkie continued down the hallway through the rows of bunks she saw Piper Chapman sitting on her bunk to put on a strong face of her own, she walked into Piper's cube.

"Hey blondie are you ok?" Nicky asked her friend, the raspines of her voice noticeably increasing.

Chapman looked up in shock, "Nichols! You're back!" She exclaimed shooting her a failed attempt at a smile.

"And your upset." The redhead mused, sitting down next to her.

"I've been such a bitch to everyone, especially her." Piper cried, trying to hold herself together "And and now she's in medical and I don't even know if she's ok."

Nicky looked at her confused, "Who? Alex?" Piper nodded, "What happened?"

Piper proceeded to tell Nicky everything that had happened. How Alex had been obsessed with the idea that a new inmate was following her. How she'd been so relieved when she'd found out that Lolly was just crazy. She told her about the new job and the underwear business. Piper let her head hang as she explained how greedy and heartless she had become. Finally she told her about Stella Carlin, the hot lesbian that was brought into Litchfield and whom Piper had fallen for. She told Nicky about the tattoos and what she'd done to get Stella sent to max.

Nicky stared at her, "Shit Chapman, this place really goes to hell without me."

Piper blew out a ragged breath, "Lolly found Alex in the greenhouse." She spoke softly, "She had bruises all over her face and it looked like he tried to choke her."

Nicky looked at the blonde concerned "Who was it?"

"It was one of Kubra's guys. He got in because the prison is so short staffed on guards they'll take anyone."

Nicky sighed, resting a hand on Piper's knee, "It'll be ok kid." She said gently, "Vause is a tough woman. She'll pull through."

Piper gave Nicky a small smile, "I'm glad you're back."

"At least someone is." Nicky muttered.

"Lorna?" Piper questioned knowingly.

Nicky nodded, "Apparently I wasn't enough for her." She laughed bitterly, "I was an idiot to think I could ever be."

"Hey." Piper put her arm around Nicky, "You are enough. You know how Lorna is, we all do. I don't think she really loves him. She was a mess after you left. I think she was just afraid of being alone with her mind."

"Somebody should've been watching her." Nicky stood up angrily. "Where's Red?"

"Either in the kitchen or drooling over Mr. Healy." Piper replied.

"She got the kitchen back? That's great!" Nicky smiled slightly, "But Mr. Healy? No way in hell is he my new dad." She started to exit the cube but turned back to look at Piper, "Maybe I was better off in max."

Before Chapman could reply Nicky was halfway to the kitchen. Sighing deeply Piper got up on the top bunk hoping to fall asleep.

"Hey ma, miss me?" Nicky asked as she walked into the kitchen.

Red's head jerked up at the sound of her daughter's voice. "Nicky" she exclaimed running to her and hugging her tightly. "Are you ok?" She pulled back to look at her.

"Yeah I'm alright." Nicky lied.

"Good." Red said smacking her daughter upside the head, "Don't you ever pull shit like that again. next time you come to me. Got it?"

Nicky nodded, rubbing her head. "Good to be home. Listen ma did you keep an eye on Lorna while I was gone?"

Red glanced at her daughter, seeing the sadness in her eyes. "Nicky I'm sorry." She said softly, putting her hands on her daughter's shoulders, "After they hauled you off we both just sat and cried. She cried into your sweater all night and barely managed to get up for breakfast in the morning." She wiped the tears falling freely down the red head's face. "She was so distraught that I didn't know what to do. I suggested she make new friends, but I never thought she would do this, take it this far.." Red sighed as she met her daughter's watery eyes, "You are her anchor Nicky. Without you she gets pulled into the tide. I went to her wedding, pretended to cry, because I knew that's all I could do. I knew that she would never listen to me."

"So what do I do ma? What the fuck do I do?" Nicky asked tearfully.

"You be there for her, you help her. This guy will hurt her Nicky. He beat up Christopher, that just shows you what he's capable of."

"Ma I would've beaten up Christopher too if I had the chance." Nicky smirked.

"Maybe but I would've smacked you upside the head." Red pulled her daughter into her arms "You love her Nicky. You have her best intentions at heart. He doesn't. Don't let her go Nicky."

CEO Colts turned to face CEO Donaldson as he got into the transport van. "You're going to the post office then right back. No stops." Donaldson barked.

"Ok. You ready inmate?" Colts questioned as he turned to face Maritza in the driver's seat.

"Yes sir." She replied.

"Ok, we'll be back in a bit." Colts said, closing the door. Once they were a ways from the prison Colts leaned back and shook something in the backseat, "You ok Morello?"

Lorna pulled the blanket off as she sat up. "Oh yeah fine. Did they suspect anything?"

"Nope, not a thing. You sure we won't get caught?" The young CEO asked.

Maritza laughed, "They're so preoccupied at that place they won't even notice."

"I hope Vince is suprised! I can't wait to see the look on his face!" Lorna exclaimed.

Maritza met her eyes in the rear-view mirror, "Flaca told me your girl's back. Have you seen her yet?"

Lorna averted her eyes, trying desperately not to think about the red headed beauty that had walked back into her life. "y-yeah I saw her. Anyway, I can't wait til he sees me! He'll probably run out and hug me and kiss me! Oh gosh I can't wait!"

As she drove, the Latino inmate watched Lorna. She didn't know her well, but she knew she wasn't right in the head. Flaca had told her that Christopher had been fake and that Lorna had really stalked the poor guy after one date. She sighed as she listened to Lorna ramble on, she felt sorry for the young woman. She only hoped Nicky would keep an eye on her now that she was back.

They pulled up to a brick house with a brown roof. The yard was quite bare, except for a tree to the left of the sidewalk. "Wow!" Lorna gasped as she gazed at the house. "This is beautiful."

Through the bay window you could see right into the big living room. Lorna gazed in and suddenly she saw Vince and a woman walk into the room. "Oh that must be his sister." Lorna said smiling. Within seconds that changed as Vince leaned in and kissed the girl deeply. "What the hell?" Lorna shrieked, ready to jump out of the cat. Colts grabbed her arm, "Inmate, no. You're not going up there. I'm sorry." Lorna struggled against his grip until she gave up. She looked through the window one last time, just as Vince was laying the woman back on the couch, before bursting into tears. As she pulled the van away from the curb Maritza reached back and squeezed her knee gently, "I'm so sorry Morello. You deserve so much better than him. Trust me. " She looked back at Lorna through the rear view mirror, "There is somebody better. Somebody that loves you and wants you more than life itself."

"Who?" Lorna choked back a sob.

"Nicky." Maritza replied as she continued down the gravel road back to the prison.

Author's Note: So umm this fic took on a life of its own lol. One more chapter for this one but I have 2 more Nichorello fics in the making! Thank you all for being so patient with me! Please read and review and I will hopefully update soon! Xo


	3. We Can Learn To Love Again

Author's Note:Yes, I know, just read lol.

Chapter 3- We Can Learn To Love Again

Nicky shifted on the hard mattress, trying to fall asleep. Her body still ached from the hard metal bunks in max, the hard metal that had left imprints on her back. Her body still ached all over from, not only the bunk, but the cold hard shackles she had had to wear whenever theyt let her out of her cell. It was almost like she was a dog in that place. Between the shackles, the cuffs, the mouldy almost untouchable food, it had felt like a fiery hell that never seemed to stop burning. She shifted on the top bunk and stared at the ceiling. She willed herself not to think about Lorna or the damn magazines wedding ring on her finger. She heard the bed creak next to her as Lorna shifted on her mattress. Nicky opened her eyes and looked over at the smaller woman whose back was to her. She listened to Lorna's soft breathing, wishing she didn't love her, wishing that she didn't want to reach out and touch her. Wishing with every fibre of her being that she could hate her, but knowing she never could. Rolling over she tried desperately to shut out thoughts of the only woman she truly loved.

Meanwhile, in her own bunk, Lorna had a storm raging inside her. How could she be so stupid as to think Vince would ever really love her? How could she be so stupid to believe that a guy on a dating service was her true love? The one she was meant to marry? Worst of all though, how could she do this to the only woman that had ever loved her? How could she not wait for her? Lorna rolled onto her back and looked over and the object of her thoughts. Nicky's face looked conflicted, as if even in sleep she was tormented by something. When Lorna had seen her upon arrival, she had looked like a corpse of her former self. Her face was pale, almost ghost like. Her hair had been stingy and matted down on her head. Her eyes had been sunken in and her arms blistered from what must have been shackles. Lorna reached over tentatively moving a strand of hair behind Nicky's ear. Watching her sleep, Lorna felt tears well in her eyes. Nicky didn't deserve someone like her, someone that repelled love, and someone that was unlovable. Ever since she was a kid she repelled people. She was like a ghost in a sea of people; that included her family. Her father often worked late hours at his construction job, many times working weekends voluntarily. On days he did take off he was too busy watching sports to spend time with his daughters, he played favourite to his son Mikey. When Lorna was ten her parents were in a head on collision that left her dad paralyzed from the waist down and her mom pretty much brain dead. With Franny barely home, always off with her friends or her boyfriends. Lorna was left alone with no one to spend time with. She tried desperately to get her father's attention and love but he wasn't interested. So Lorna would spend hours in her room looking at gossip and fashion magazines, fantasizing about meeting her prince charming. When she met Christopher at the post office, during her mail fraud days, she clung to him for dear life. That had gotten her thrown into prison on a stalking charge. Lorna looked over at Nicky again, the red headed beauty that had saved her from herself so many times; reaching over she grabbed the hand closest to her and squeezed it tightly. "I'm sorry Nick, I'm so sorry." She whispered before closing her eyes. She felt Nicky squeeze her hand softly as the two drifted off into a restless sleep.

"Alex I'm positive no one saw us." Piper Chapman said smiling at her girlfriend. Alex had gotten out of the hospital the day before and the two lovers had spent the night before making up for lost time.

Alex Vause smirked as she finished putting her clothes on, "Yeah well with how loud you were screaming I'm not so sure." She kissed Piper one last time before stepping out of the shower; much to her dismay just as Lorna was walking in.

"Alex" the small brunette exclaimed as she rushed over to hug her friend. "I'm so glad you're ok."

Alex smiled at her, "Yeah me too." She noticed how red her friend's cheeks were, "Hey are you ok?"

Lorna smiled tightly, "No. I screwed up so badly." She whispered softly.

Alex took one last look at the shower stall behind her meeting her girlfriend's eyes, before wrapping her arm around Lorna and guiding her out of the showers, "Come on I wanna show you something."

They walked into Alex's cube and Lorna sat down on the bunk across from Alex's. She watched as the tall brunette lifted the mattress and pulled out a pieced of worn poster board. "Do you remember last Christmas? When we did the secret Santa?" Alex watched Lorna nod slowly. "And you remember how Nicky gave you candy?" again Lorna nodded. "Well this is what she really made for you." Alex turned the poster so Lorna could see the pictures. The young Italian gasped in shock as she looked at the content on the board.

"She made this?" Lorna whispered as she took the poster from Alex, staring at the pictures of her and Nicky as the bride and groom.

"Yeah she did." Alex smiled, "I saved it because I knew someday she'd want to give it to you. She loves you Lorna." She rested a hand on her friend's shoulder, "You both keep running away from love because you're both scared, but you're only hurting yourselves. You guys are meant to be together Lorna."

Lorna looked up at the taller woman through her tears and nodded, "I know you're right. Thanks Alex." She hugged her friend tightly before walking out of the cube, poster in hand.

Vince Muccio sat in visitation waiting for his wife. He smiled as he saw her walk in, but it faltered when he saw the fire in her eyes and a piece of paper in her hand. "Hello Vincent. I'm not going to take up much of your time; I just need you to sign this." Lorna pushed the paper in front of him. Vince stared down at the paper.

"Divorce papers? Lorna, why?" He asked, shocked.

"Because I deserve better than a partner that would cheat on me. I deserve someone that loves, respects and honours me. I deserve a partner that would do anything to make me happy." Lorna turned to see Nicky standing at the window of visitation with Alex beside her, looking back at Vince she continued, "And you know what Vincent? I found that person. I was so scared to be alone, so terrified to be alone with my mind, that I thought I needed you. When really, what I needed to do is wait for the only person that has ever really cared about me." Lorna didn't realize how loud she was talking as she went on, "I'm tired of being a fuck up Vince. That's why I'm taking my life back; I'm taking what I deserve like I should have done months ago."

Vince stared at her, "Who?"

"Nicky Nichols." Lorna said with a look of sincerity in her eyes.

Vince stared at her, "Ok fine. You want a divorce?" He signed the paper and thrust it into Lorna's hand, "Have a great life Morello. Give me a call when you're finished playing with dolls and you want a real lover."

"Ok Muccio you're out of here" CO Ford barked as he walked over and dragged Vince away from a fuming Lorna. Walking out of visitation Lorna looked at Nicky, took her hand and led her to the chapel. They sat on the stage for what seemed like hours.

"Nicky please say something." Lorna said softly.

"I don't know what to say Lorna." Nicky said standing up, "I just don't think I can handle it if you were lying."

Lorna walked up to her, moving her arms around Nicky's neck, she looked deeply into her eyes, "I wasn't lying Nicky. I love you, I want you. I'm so sorry for all of the shit I've put you through. You deserve someone so much better than me Nicky, but I hope that I'll do."

Nicky pulled Lorna to her, "You'll do amazing. I love you Lorna Morello." She leaned down and kissed her passionately. Lorna tangled her fingers in Nicky's hair, shoving her tongue into Nicky's mouth and deepening the kiss.

Nicky put her hands on the hem of Lorna's shirt as she pulled it over her head, "Vince thinks I'm a bad lover. Let me prove him wrong." Nicky husked in Lorna's ear.

Lorna moaned deeply as Nicky ravished her body, taking her time to kiss every single inch of it. Afterwards they lay on the stage wrapped in each others arms.

Lorna looked up at Nicky, You never told me, how was max?"

"Hell" Nicky replied. "All I kept thinking about is how much I've fucked up in my life. How much of a disappointment I am to everyone." She looked down at Lorna, "including you."

"Nick" Lorna whispered, "That's not true." She moved so she was face to face with Nicky. "I think you are one of the most beautiful, sexy, talented, wonderful people I have ever met." She leaned down and kissed the red head. "You've done so many good things in your life baby and those outweigh the bad." Lorna smiled softly, "For example, the beautiful poster you made me."

Nicky stared at her, "How did you know about that?"

"Alex showed me." Lorna smiled, "She saved it."

Nicky groaned, laying her head back on the stage, "Remind me to kill her later."

Lorna laughed, "Hmm well I think you may want to thank her." The small brunette put her lips right below Nicky's ear, "Because that poster is why you're about to have your mind blown." Before Nicky could respond Lorna bit down on the soft flesh, sucking it hard.

Looking down at Nicky Lorna smiled, "I love you Nicky Nichols."

"I love you so much Lorna. I really do." Nicky whispered, before Lorna kissed her hard.

That night Lorna showed Nicky how much she meant to her. This resulted in Lorna having to pay for a few repairs to the stage and alter in the chapel, but it was well worth it.

A/N: Yes I know FINALLY! I'm really not happy with this, I'm a bit rusty, but I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading!


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